just me

11-7-08

(So, I still can’t figure out how to add a post to this page!!) 

Anyway, what I was going to add as a new post is a thought about how much I identify wit my Pastor.   Weird, huh?  Yea, that’s what I keep thinking, but it’s true. 

Personality-wise, we’re very similar: compassionate, devoted, and excitable.  Mostly we both tend to have flare-ups, self-admitted-dumb-moments, and just plain stubbornness.  But he has much fewer of “said” moments than I do, being farther along in this strangely exciting faith-walk than me, and having an incredible, God-given spouse (Pastor”et” rocks!) to catch him and remind him ”he is not the Holy Spirit” helps too. 

But the point is, I can identify with my Pastor SO much in his avoidance of God’s call on his life.  2 1/2 words: I’m there. 

I don’t want to avoid what God is asking me to do, but I’ve been kind of holding out for my own ideas to take shape, my own career to get off the ground.  The problem is, all I have is this awful, crawling discontent and restlessness with everything I try to do that does not center on spreading the gospel of Christ and discipling others in following Him!  What’s up with that?!  I DON’T want to ask my Pastor if he went through all this stuff before God pushed him into full-time ministry (maybe because I already know the answer?!?)  Yikes!  But Yahoo for God!  He knows best, and He knows my heart!

________________________________________________________________________

 

Ok, so I don’t have this whole thing of posting to different pages

summer concert

band and kids from the concert

                                                                    

figured out yet, so this will have to do for now. 

I love rainy days.  I can’t quite explain why, but I just do!  Especially in warm weather, I like to take off my shoes and walk in the grass and through the cool puddles on the pavement.  I live in the city while I’m at school, so there is not a lot of mud to squish around in, but I have fun with the puddles anyway. 

I guess the rain makes me think of the way God’s thoughts are for me, for everyone.  Rain falls everywhere, on big and small, loud and quiet, nourishing everything in ways we can’t even see.  It’s like God’s thoughts and love for us in that He nourishes every part of each one of us, even the little hopes and dreams we think no one has or will see in us.  He is always there, pouring into our lives, whether we acknowledge it or not.  His thoughts are infinite in number for each of us; not just as a herd of people, but each individual is lavished with His thought and care.  How incredible is that?!

I guess too, I have to wonder: am I treating God’s nourishing thoughts as a necessity, craving them, soaking them up, or am I treating them as inconveniences – those situations that are opportunities for me to learn, grow, step out and lead, or even be corrected by a word of God?  Even when it floods, the water washes away the impurities that have been driven to the surface of the waterlogged soil, cleansing it of the trash and filth that have been hidden in dark, dry crevices. 

I want to be saturated with God’s rain in my life, overflowing with His Spirit and filled with His thoughts.  That is why I dance, and sing, in the rain.

 

Ok, this is hard for me.  All we hear about are the creepy people who stalk and abduct people from information they got from their “MySpace” or “FaceBook” or some other site (wordpress???) with a bio.  But, I love reading what people think they are like, thier view oftheirlife’s journeys.  So, I’m blowing rasberries at the “slightly paranoid” side of me who is biting her fingernails in worried anticipation.

I am not a rock star with a secret identity.  I am not an over-stressed mother of 5 with little time to herself for creative expression.  I am not a business professional with a 6-figure income who takes breaks from a high-energie job with immense responsability to decompress with my blogging buddies.

I am, in fact, a senior in college in the only place I would choose to live, TN.  I live with me, and I see me every day so it’s hard to pick out things that are significant; I kinda like the whole package

I’m completing a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies, a fancy way of saying “I couldn’t decide between English, Spanish, English As A 2nd Language, and Youth Ministries, so I’m doing some of all of them.”  When I’m done with my B.A. I want to begin the Masters program in School Counseling at the same university (my info-paranoid self is dragging her heels again.) 

I grew up in a small town, I mean, small; 407 people-small.  I was home schooled all my life, and, yes, I loved it and I love college.  No, my social-life was not hindered at all or my academic abilities or opportunities (except my spelling, it’s a dyslexia/memory thing.) 

Until I was 13, all I wanted to do was ride andtrain horses; I found out that too many falls can have permenant effects, and that college costs less to feed than horses do.  I began dancing ballet when I was 10, at my Mother’s ‘nudging,’ and though I was dead-set against anything as “girly” as ballet, I fell in love with it; my feet haven’t stopped since then. 

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior when I was 9 years old and, like most things in my life, I totally dedicated myself to growing closer to Him and learning what it meant to be a child of God.  I don’t “get it right” all the time, but I’m so in love with Jesus and His ways of grace and mercy, I can’t imagine my life without Him!

I grew up with a family of 13 children (no twins and no adoptions, really!) from Rhod Island, NY, so I’m a TN native with little to no accent.  But, a Coke is a Coke, not soda.  I love to be around people from other states and countries and talk about their upbringing (there’s my TN roots comming out!)

Something random, I’ve never dated.  I want to learn who I am, what my goals and dreams are and what God wants for my life before I commit to supporting the goals, dreams, and vision of my husband ( how can I do that unless I know who I am, and if I agree with him?? seriously!)  That doesn’t stop me from having guy friends I share my life with; only the romantic stuff is nixed.  I want to save all that for the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, and just have fun till then!

I don’t beat around the bush very much, ok, my friends would likely say, “not at all.”  I don’t believe in gray areas in anything.  I live by the truth of God’s word, I’m learning to, more and more every day. I’m a peaceful, happy person, and I don’t get my feathers rumpled at much of anything; except when some one is wronged or hurt.  Then I tend to do and say whatever has to be done to help mend the fence, or heal the hurt.  I like to find the root of a problem and then help others find out how to fix it, to grow and learn from mistakes, and to become whole again.   

 I love to sing and play piano, I’m not great at piano, but I love to worship God with my music! 

I’m on the praise team at my church, and I work in the youth and children’s ministries and outreach projects.  I want to get to a point where I can spend all my time doing this! 

I want to adopt children from all over the world and to open a home for abused mothers/families. 

That’s a lot of stuff, but there is a lot of stuff I’m not, yet, and a lot of stuff I never will be; it’s some one else’s place.  But I’m content to have what I have and learn how to be who God wants me to be.  I want to obey Him passionately in all I do; to love and live like Him. 

“For He has shown you, oh man, what is good: love justice, show mercy, and walk humbly with your God.”

This is my prayer.