Ok, so I’ve forgotten how to be a Christian. Gasp! No, really, I did. I’ve been caught up in a lot of stuff these past few weeks. They were all “really important” too. I had to go to the grocery store, had to take my friend to Karate lessons, had to co-write and teach a Bible lesson for 75+ middle school girls in county schools, had to buy another friend a coffee just because she couldn’t, I have to get together a fundraiser for another girl who needs help financially, I have to meet with all my family at least 4 hours each when I go home for break. On and on and on…!! But is all this necessary? I’m not writing all this to blow my own horn (or am I??!) but to make a point:
I’ve been so busy, I forgot about God! A couple of days ago, I realised I couldn’t remember the last time I had talked to God about my thought-life, about my grocery bill, about how grateful I was for another day; I had just been packing those days full of, lets be honest, crap! (Christians can say crap sometimes too!) I’ve been “enjoying the fruits of God’s blessings” in my life, but I’ve made God sit in a separate buggy on this carnival ride! How dumb is that!
So I skipped church. Over the past weekends, I realized I’ve been carting people, catering, and focusing on “spiritual fellowship” with others more than the one Person, the only Reason we gather together! Don’t get me wrong, we are called to come together, worship our King together and build each other up with prayer and thanksgiving. But my wheels have been spinning in youthful relationships and prayer groups and share-time circles and accountability hours.
I had to get alone, quiet, still before my Creator. He, the God of the Angel Armies, is completely infatuated with me, and I’ve been walking away, swinging the pearls of “righteousness” His blood bought! I had to soak in wonder at His feet, drink in His words of wisdom, compassion and mercy.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7 confronted me with God’s character: Love. The way He sees me, the way He feels toward me, and every one of His children. He sees everything I do, and yet He doesn’t keep track, doesn’t hold on to them to use against me later, when I’m asking for forgivness.
He will never reject or abandon me. He sings when I do choose right ways, and cries when I hurt Him with my foolish wrongs. He just lets it all go, and opens His arms to me in pure love.
He has confidence in me! He has confidence that I can do the things He asks me to. What a feeling! God has faith in me! Puny little me. What a reason to praise Him continually, to ask His advice, to keep up a running dialogue of all the things in my life; He placed them there to begin with, created them inside of me for a purpose!
He’s just so big! How else could I continue to grow in relationship with Him if I didn’t take time to just sit, and think about how incredible it is that this mighty, awesome, omnitient God finds me facinating, and irresitable! I just couldn’t hear all of that in the middle of my “schedule” and good deeds. I had to be quiet and worship by being still, by not doing, not serving for a moment.
